i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
