i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
