Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
