now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
