So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
