lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
