Porn is love you can see.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He kissed a someone with a penis
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
