the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
