his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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