Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
