Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Come on in and take your pants off
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