I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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