Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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