Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
that is very illegal...i love you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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