Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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