I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
