MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
