We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
