just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
