he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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