He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
