k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
