Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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