so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
