he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need water and some morals
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
