We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
