my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's never too late to be topless.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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