do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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