So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
