there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
