Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
