census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
