I am puke
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
