everyone is single if you try hard enough
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
