i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
