We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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