ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Randomize
