how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
