it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
