that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
