He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
