margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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