can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
