Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
