erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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