Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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