the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
