That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
