Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
our cab driver is having phone sex.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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