are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
