Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
