Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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